......Your Moxie

I recently watched the movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and if you haven’t seen it and are planning to, you might want to stop reading at this point.

For those of you who haven’t heard about it, it’s a 2008 Woody Allen film starring Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Scarlett Johansson, and Rebecca Hall. The basic structure of the movie is two friends spend the summer in Barcelona and unintentionally fall for the same guy. One of the girls, Vicky, Rebecca Hall, is very structured, goal oriented and no-nonsense. She is engaged to an appropriate guy and is in Barcelona working on her masters. Cristina on the other hand, Scarlett Johannson, is portrayed as someone drifting through life with no purpose and consistent in her lack of commonsense with men. She is quoted through out the movie as no knowing what she wants, but definitely knowing what she doesn’t want. Juan (Javier) is the painter they become enamored with and Maria (Penelope) is his extremely emotional and slightly homicidal ex-wife.

Considering Cristina’s history and perceived flightiness, it’s not at all surprising that she becomes involved with both Juan and Maria. Initially it’s just her and Juan living together but Maria winds up moving in after a failed suicide attempt. After an initial awkward period, there is a love that blossoms between all three, and each in their own way grow artistically and emotionally. Cristina, having never felt she had any talent, through Juan and Maria’s encouragement becomes quite an accomplished photographer. Unfortunately she begins to feel that ever familiar sensation of restlessness and “breaks up” with them and goes to France for two weeks.

Vicky, who initially viewed Juan with distrust and contempt, is the wild card in the movie. Before Cristina has a chance to become involved with Juan, she is violently ill for a few days leaving Vicky alone with Juan. After seeing a different side of him, and too much wine and Spanish guitar music one night, they wind up making love. It is their only encounter but it changes Vicky completely. Ricocheting from the guilt she throws herself into her education and fiancé. In fact, when he joins her in Spain, they wind up getting married earlier than planned. She never stops thinking about Juan.

At the end of the movie, Cristina has returned from France and Vicky winds up telling her everything that happened with Juan. Cristina is devastated that Vicky never voiced her feelings about Juan, especially given that fact that he didn’t turn out to be “the one” for her, she would have gladly stepped aside for her. Their friendship remains in tact and they each return to their lives in the States. Vicky’s husband none the wiser about her adventures in Spain, Cristina still searching for what she wants, and Vicky continuing to be the “responsible” person.

To me the strongest character in the movie is Cristina. She fearless lives her life, not willing to settle for anything less. Vicky on the surface appears to be the stronger person, she is getting her education, is practical-minded, married, not easily swayed by anyone. In the end though, I believe she stayed with her husband because she was too afraid to go after what she really wanted, you can see at the end that she realizes she isn’t really in love with him. It was the safe, easy choice to make, but ultimately not what she wanted.

Everyday I strive to live my life without fear. To make choices that add life, excitement, spice and joy to this journey I’m on. People succumb to fears everyday; fear of the unknown, fear of not being accepted, fear of losing something or someone, fear of failing, fear of not being good enough, fear of peers not agreeing with your choices. The list goes on forever and I’m sure you have many more to add.

I personally, at the end of my life, want to look back and have a colossal belly laugh at my mistakes, not cry at my regrets. Live your life without fear; commit to your choices with fierceness, waste not your life with “what was not done.” Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen?

......Your Way Out

I’ve been a neglectful blogger for the last few weeks. You know when you get wrapped up in the lethargic atmosphere of apathy? That’s where I’ve been vacationing for the last few of weeks. Mushing out on online games, mindless tv and movies; overall doing a whole lot of nothing. I have emails that need to be answered, projects to be worked on, plans that need organizing, a long list of to-dos all shoved under the bed so to speak.

It’s something that creeps up on you and eats away your time without you realizing it. You can get so deep into it that it’s hard to see your way out. So how do you get out of it? Sometimes all it takes is a tiny little spark that catches your attention and starts nourishing your motivation back to life. Mine came in the form of an online article that talked about free classes online. You won’t earn a degree, but if you want to enhance your current skills, learn new ones, or feed a new interest you can do it at no charge. Some of the sites the article listed were MIT Open Coursewear, Livemocha.com, and Free-Ed.net.

I checked out Livemocha last night, it’s an online language site where you can take courses to learn a language; there are twelve languages to choose from. There is actual coursework you do, flashcards, and assignments. You can interact with other members who are learning the same language or are native speakers. You can earn “Mocha Points” to unlock more content by reviewing submissions from members for grammar, spelling and context. If you want to pay a few dollars, you can even get feedback from instructors. I’m working on the French and Arabic courses. So far everyone has been really friendly, and I’ve already received suggestions of other sites to check out for language.

Then, a co-worker who is helping me polish up a logo I designed for a friend called to meet about it. It’s amazing how just a few minutes spent discussion design, flow, and impact can get the juices flowing. After we finished going over the logo, we started talking about photography, cameras, the hardship of finding people to pose for you, film vs. digital, etc. and an hour later I had yet another perspective to chew on in the photography world. Tonight I did a mini photo shoot of self-portraits in B&W (did I mention lack of posing victims?)

I’m usually pretty good about jump starting myself when I’ve reached that slug mode, but there are times you need the energy from others to replenish. Never forget the value of the people in your lives, how even the smallest element can create a change in your day.

Today’s found moment is: As important as your “inside” strength and self sufficiency are, the “outside” elements are equally influential and effective.......use them!