"I do not accept your answer. Your solution doesn't fit within my Goal. Thank you for your time, the door is to your left"
What is your gut response when faced with an unexpected twist on the path to your dream? Do you quickly accept the defeatist answer given and walk away from what was, at one time, the most important focus in your life? Do you irrationally ignore the wisdom of all those who have gone before you and blindly follow the original path, consequences be damned?
We all grew up being taught that hard work will get you to your goal, but how easy to justify giving up on it when voices of supposed authority tell you its pointless. There are always going to be doubters in your life that will try and convince that you are wasting your time.
When those road blocks get thrown up, I always think about those everyday people who, against all odds, defied history, statistics and resident experts and accomplished the thing they were told they couldn't. What makes these people different from us? Their Resolve. They refused to accept the answer given and solidly set out to prove everyone wrong.
Now resolve alone won't always change your outcome, for the reality is there are some elements that cannot be altered. How more satisfying the road and easier the defeat accepted if you know that without a doubt every POSSIBLE option was explored?
I personally would rather be known as that crazy girl that wouldn't listen to anyone and kept pushing, then be completely forgotten because I slunk away quietly when told to do so.
Today's found moment? I do not accept your answer! I will find a way around your road block and absolutely gloat when I prove you wrong! So all you doubters be prepared to feel the sting of my obnoxious victory dance at the goal line, for you will all be called out!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
......Definition
"You Brazen Hussy!"
What immediately comes to mind when you see that phrase? An immoral slut? A prostitute? Someone deserving your contempt?
This week on Facebook a friend of mine posted the phrase "Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History" and she received a flood of responses from one end of the spectrum to the other. At one point the discussion turned to well-behaved equals having no manners. I, of course, added my two cents and threw in the word "Brazen". It is one of my all time favorite words and in fact is part of my website name "Brazen Creature". Brazen elicited an even more powerful slew of responses. I became quite fascinated at the intensity of all of it.
In reality it all boils down to what you choose the definition of a word be. For me Brazen means - daring, bold, without doubt, unashamed, no fear. For one person on my friend's site it means street walker. I choose the positive definition over the negative. I actually enjoy taking words with negative connotations and changing people's perspective of it.
With the phrase "Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History", some people choose to define the meaning as rude, disrespectful, unsavory women are the only ones to make history. In reality, most historical women had impeccable manners. It's the going against the grain, bucking the system, forcing their voices to be heard that gained them their spot in history, not that they forgot to send Thank You notes. The person who has the skill and intelligence to back their opponent into a corner by using their opponent's own game, truly understands the art of the social dance. These women of history were masters at it.
So let's look at the actual definition of Brazen Hussy
Brazen:
1. Marked by flagrant and insolent audacity. See Synonyms at shameless.
2. To face or undergo with bold self-assurance
3. Having a loud, usually harsh, resonant sound
4. Made of brass.
5. Resembling brass, as in color or strength.
Word Origin & History: O.E. bræsen "made of brass," from bræs "brass." The figurative sense of "hardened in effrontery" is c.1573 (in brazen-face), perhaps suggesting a face unable to show shame (see brass). To brazen it out "face impudently" is from 1555.
Hussy:
1. A housewife or housekeeper.
2. A brazen or immoral woman.
3. A mischievous, impudent, or ill-behaved girl.
4. A worthless woman or girl; a forward wench; a jade; -- used as a term of contempt or reproach.
5. A pert girl; a frolicsome or sportive young woman; -- used jocosely. --Goldsmith.
Word Origin & History: 1530, "mistress of a household, housewife," alt. of M.E. husewif, from huse "house" + wif "wife." Gradually broadened to mean "any woman or girl," and by 1650 was being applied to "a woman or girl who shows casual or improper behavior," and a general derogatory sense had overtaken the word by 19c. "It is common to use housewife in a good, and huswife or hussy in a bad sense." [Johnson]
So originally a "Brazen Hussy" was a Housewife made of Brass.
You can go through life choosing to always see the negative, I personally prefer the power the positive definitions of the world can provide. I'm glad that my throwing in the word brazen upped the level of discussion that was already going on.
It is much easier to accept what society tells you something is instead of going out and questioning the world for yourself. As you see with the word hussy, it started out with a totally innocuous meaning...housewife and over time evolved into a forward wench (by the way LOVE the phrase forward wench, might have to start using it).
You and only you can define your world, whether it's words, direction, style, friends, job, etc., you have the power to write your definitions.
My definition.........Brazen. When people say "How Dare You?", I say "Oh yes I Dare, I Dare on a regular basis"!
What's your definition?
What immediately comes to mind when you see that phrase? An immoral slut? A prostitute? Someone deserving your contempt?
This week on Facebook a friend of mine posted the phrase "Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History" and she received a flood of responses from one end of the spectrum to the other. At one point the discussion turned to well-behaved equals having no manners. I, of course, added my two cents and threw in the word "Brazen". It is one of my all time favorite words and in fact is part of my website name "Brazen Creature". Brazen elicited an even more powerful slew of responses. I became quite fascinated at the intensity of all of it.
In reality it all boils down to what you choose the definition of a word be. For me Brazen means - daring, bold, without doubt, unashamed, no fear. For one person on my friend's site it means street walker. I choose the positive definition over the negative. I actually enjoy taking words with negative connotations and changing people's perspective of it.
With the phrase "Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History", some people choose to define the meaning as rude, disrespectful, unsavory women are the only ones to make history. In reality, most historical women had impeccable manners. It's the going against the grain, bucking the system, forcing their voices to be heard that gained them their spot in history, not that they forgot to send Thank You notes. The person who has the skill and intelligence to back their opponent into a corner by using their opponent's own game, truly understands the art of the social dance. These women of history were masters at it.
So let's look at the actual definition of Brazen Hussy
Brazen:
1. Marked by flagrant and insolent audacity. See Synonyms at shameless.
2. To face or undergo with bold self-assurance
3. Having a loud, usually harsh, resonant sound
4. Made of brass.
5. Resembling brass, as in color or strength.
Word Origin & History: O.E. bræsen "made of brass," from bræs "brass." The figurative sense of "hardened in effrontery" is c.1573 (in brazen-face), perhaps suggesting a face unable to show shame (see brass). To brazen it out "face impudently" is from 1555.
Hussy:
1. A housewife or housekeeper.
2. A brazen or immoral woman.
3. A mischievous, impudent, or ill-behaved girl.
4. A worthless woman or girl; a forward wench; a jade; -- used as a term of contempt or reproach.
5. A pert girl; a frolicsome or sportive young woman; -- used jocosely. --Goldsmith.
Word Origin & History: 1530, "mistress of a household, housewife," alt. of M.E. husewif, from huse "house" + wif "wife." Gradually broadened to mean "any woman or girl," and by 1650 was being applied to "a woman or girl who shows casual or improper behavior," and a general derogatory sense had overtaken the word by 19c. "It is common to use housewife in a good, and huswife or hussy in a bad sense." [Johnson]
So originally a "Brazen Hussy" was a Housewife made of Brass.
You can go through life choosing to always see the negative, I personally prefer the power the positive definitions of the world can provide. I'm glad that my throwing in the word brazen upped the level of discussion that was already going on.
It is much easier to accept what society tells you something is instead of going out and questioning the world for yourself. As you see with the word hussy, it started out with a totally innocuous meaning...housewife and over time evolved into a forward wench (by the way LOVE the phrase forward wench, might have to start using it).
You and only you can define your world, whether it's words, direction, style, friends, job, etc., you have the power to write your definitions.
My definition.........Brazen. When people say "How Dare You?", I say "Oh yes I Dare, I Dare on a regular basis"!
What's your definition?
Saturday, June 13, 2009
......Your Focus
So this week my absence wasn't about neglect, it was about focus. I did an abstract B&W photo shoot awhile back and finally made myself focus on the resulting photos and do something with them.There was a lot of frustration with software programs, lack of knowledge and a few other fun elements thrown in, but I vowed to stay focused and on point till I had something to show for my work.
This photo shoot was a study in Out of Focus Abstract Images. I wanted to break the picture down to shapes and shadows. While you can clearly see that it's me in the photo, it's more about taking a step back to look at the whole and see how the shapes work with and against each other.
Hope you enjoy them, now you'll have to excuse me, but I must get back to the war.......the next battle? Figuring out my website......I'll keep you posted!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
......Patience
Working towards something is always exciting. The planning, the discovery of direction, building upon an artistic breakthrough, all these aspects are obvious motivators to help you get where you want to be. What do you do on those days they desert you?
How do you stay focused when the excitement of the journey dries up? You know the days I'm talking about, you've filled out and submitted all the forms there are to fill out and now have to wait for the response, you've submitted the artwork weeks before the deadline and now have nothing left to do but wait to hear the results. Your long term goals are just that....Long Term. So when there is nothing to do at the moment to contribute towards that goal, how do you stay on point?
I find it very easy to get distracted and frustrated during these down times, questioning if this is the right goal, looking in other directions to see if there is something else better suited. Limbo, it's a dangerous place to be. So how do you stay on point?
I honestly don't know the answer to this, it's something I struggle with constantly. I'm not an instant gratification person, I understand the value of putting in the work to get the outcome you want, but when those "hurry and wait" times hit, I get all kinds of antsy.
This week has been like that, there are exciting things in the works, but as is the case in life, some decisions can't be made until other aspects are decided. Those aspects can't be decided until more information has been acquired.........so here's where we are, hurry up and wait.
Today I almost reached my threshold of patience. So frustrated with the inability to take immediate action, I started to form a plan. But how do you determine the difference between a Reactionary Response and a Spontaneous Inspiration?
I think the answer lies in your ability to be brutally honest in your motivation. Are you reacting to a frustrating situation and a feeling of no control? Or were your eyes opened to a new venue that cast light onto a deep desire you never knew you had? Mine today? Utter reactionary response, no doubt. So to counter it, I focused on my art, worked on my photography, made a fabulous beef stew in the crock pot and reminded myself that in this particular situation, not only is patience a virtue, it's a must!
Today's found moment is that I, and only I, have the ability to reign in my impatient inner child stamping her little foot in frustration. It's important to keep moving forward with your dreams, but on those rare occasions where you have a moment to catch your breath, do so and relish it for they are few and far between.
How do you stay focused when the excitement of the journey dries up? You know the days I'm talking about, you've filled out and submitted all the forms there are to fill out and now have to wait for the response, you've submitted the artwork weeks before the deadline and now have nothing left to do but wait to hear the results. Your long term goals are just that....Long Term. So when there is nothing to do at the moment to contribute towards that goal, how do you stay on point?
I find it very easy to get distracted and frustrated during these down times, questioning if this is the right goal, looking in other directions to see if there is something else better suited. Limbo, it's a dangerous place to be. So how do you stay on point?
I honestly don't know the answer to this, it's something I struggle with constantly. I'm not an instant gratification person, I understand the value of putting in the work to get the outcome you want, but when those "hurry and wait" times hit, I get all kinds of antsy.
This week has been like that, there are exciting things in the works, but as is the case in life, some decisions can't be made until other aspects are decided. Those aspects can't be decided until more information has been acquired.........so here's where we are, hurry up and wait.
Today I almost reached my threshold of patience. So frustrated with the inability to take immediate action, I started to form a plan. But how do you determine the difference between a Reactionary Response and a Spontaneous Inspiration?
I think the answer lies in your ability to be brutally honest in your motivation. Are you reacting to a frustrating situation and a feeling of no control? Or were your eyes opened to a new venue that cast light onto a deep desire you never knew you had? Mine today? Utter reactionary response, no doubt. So to counter it, I focused on my art, worked on my photography, made a fabulous beef stew in the crock pot and reminded myself that in this particular situation, not only is patience a virtue, it's a must!
Today's found moment is that I, and only I, have the ability to reign in my impatient inner child stamping her little foot in frustration. It's important to keep moving forward with your dreams, but on those rare occasions where you have a moment to catch your breath, do so and relish it for they are few and far between.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
......Imperfection
I just got this book in the mail and I immediately sat down and read it straight through, The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. It's not that the author says anything new, but he says it in a way that you can no longer hide behind your "legitimate" reasons for not being where you want to be, doing what you want to be doing, following your passion whatever it may be.
It's not just for artists, it's for anyone who finds a way to justify their stagnation. For me it's Perfectionism. That is my way of allowing procrastination to unleash its handiwork and give me justification for my lack of artistic output.
This blog was supposed to be a daily accountability. An accountability of "finding" the positive to focus on each day, of exercising my creative brain by writing everyday, of doing the work eveyday even when I didn't feel like it. Clearly it didn't do that since I haven't written anything for two months.
So I'm back today with a renewed committment, and the first step is I will no longer be writing my blogs in Word, perfecting them and then posting. It will be a free flow of thought, spelling and grammer mistakes included! I will also no longer stress to "find" the perfect subject to discuss each day.
Every artists will tell you its the imperfections that lead them to their greatest piece, every business owner will tell you its the mistakes they made that taught them to be successful.
Going forward I will revel in my imperfections...........care to join me with yours?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
......Your Moxie
I recently watched the movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and if you haven’t seen it and are planning to, you might want to stop reading at this point.
For those of you who haven’t heard about it, it’s a 2008 Woody Allen film starring Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Scarlett Johansson, and Rebecca Hall. The basic structure of the movie is two friends spend the summer in Barcelona and unintentionally fall for the same guy. One of the girls, Vicky, Rebecca Hall, is very structured, goal oriented and no-nonsense. She is engaged to an appropriate guy and is in Barcelona working on her masters. Cristina on the other hand, Scarlett Johannson, is portrayed as someone drifting through life with no purpose and consistent in her lack of commonsense with men. She is quoted through out the movie as no knowing what she wants, but definitely knowing what she doesn’t want. Juan (Javier) is the painter they become enamored with and Maria (Penelope) is his extremely emotional and slightly homicidal ex-wife.
Considering Cristina’s history and perceived flightiness, it’s not at all surprising that she becomes involved with both Juan and Maria. Initially it’s just her and Juan living together but Maria winds up moving in after a failed suicide attempt. After an initial awkward period, there is a love that blossoms between all three, and each in their own way grow artistically and emotionally. Cristina, having never felt she had any talent, through Juan and Maria’s encouragement becomes quite an accomplished photographer. Unfortunately she begins to feel that ever familiar sensation of restlessness and “breaks up” with them and goes to France for two weeks.
Vicky, who initially viewed Juan with distrust and contempt, is the wild card in the movie. Before Cristina has a chance to become involved with Juan, she is violently ill for a few days leaving Vicky alone with Juan. After seeing a different side of him, and too much wine and Spanish guitar music one night, they wind up making love. It is their only encounter but it changes Vicky completely. Ricocheting from the guilt she throws herself into her education and fiancé. In fact, when he joins her in Spain, they wind up getting married earlier than planned. She never stops thinking about Juan.
At the end of the movie, Cristina has returned from France and Vicky winds up telling her everything that happened with Juan. Cristina is devastated that Vicky never voiced her feelings about Juan, especially given that fact that he didn’t turn out to be “the one” for her, she would have gladly stepped aside for her. Their friendship remains in tact and they each return to their lives in the States. Vicky’s husband none the wiser about her adventures in Spain, Cristina still searching for what she wants, and Vicky continuing to be the “responsible” person.
To me the strongest character in the movie is Cristina. She fearless lives her life, not willing to settle for anything less. Vicky on the surface appears to be the stronger person, she is getting her education, is practical-minded, married, not easily swayed by anyone. In the end though, I believe she stayed with her husband because she was too afraid to go after what she really wanted, you can see at the end that she realizes she isn’t really in love with him. It was the safe, easy choice to make, but ultimately not what she wanted.
Everyday I strive to live my life without fear. To make choices that add life, excitement, spice and joy to this journey I’m on. People succumb to fears everyday; fear of the unknown, fear of not being accepted, fear of losing something or someone, fear of failing, fear of not being good enough, fear of peers not agreeing with your choices. The list goes on forever and I’m sure you have many more to add.
I personally, at the end of my life, want to look back and have a colossal belly laugh at my mistakes, not cry at my regrets. Live your life without fear; commit to your choices with fierceness, waste not your life with “what was not done.” Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen?
For those of you who haven’t heard about it, it’s a 2008 Woody Allen film starring Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Scarlett Johansson, and Rebecca Hall. The basic structure of the movie is two friends spend the summer in Barcelona and unintentionally fall for the same guy. One of the girls, Vicky, Rebecca Hall, is very structured, goal oriented and no-nonsense. She is engaged to an appropriate guy and is in Barcelona working on her masters. Cristina on the other hand, Scarlett Johannson, is portrayed as someone drifting through life with no purpose and consistent in her lack of commonsense with men. She is quoted through out the movie as no knowing what she wants, but definitely knowing what she doesn’t want. Juan (Javier) is the painter they become enamored with and Maria (Penelope) is his extremely emotional and slightly homicidal ex-wife.
Considering Cristina’s history and perceived flightiness, it’s not at all surprising that she becomes involved with both Juan and Maria. Initially it’s just her and Juan living together but Maria winds up moving in after a failed suicide attempt. After an initial awkward period, there is a love that blossoms between all three, and each in their own way grow artistically and emotionally. Cristina, having never felt she had any talent, through Juan and Maria’s encouragement becomes quite an accomplished photographer. Unfortunately she begins to feel that ever familiar sensation of restlessness and “breaks up” with them and goes to France for two weeks.
Vicky, who initially viewed Juan with distrust and contempt, is the wild card in the movie. Before Cristina has a chance to become involved with Juan, she is violently ill for a few days leaving Vicky alone with Juan. After seeing a different side of him, and too much wine and Spanish guitar music one night, they wind up making love. It is their only encounter but it changes Vicky completely. Ricocheting from the guilt she throws herself into her education and fiancé. In fact, when he joins her in Spain, they wind up getting married earlier than planned. She never stops thinking about Juan.
At the end of the movie, Cristina has returned from France and Vicky winds up telling her everything that happened with Juan. Cristina is devastated that Vicky never voiced her feelings about Juan, especially given that fact that he didn’t turn out to be “the one” for her, she would have gladly stepped aside for her. Their friendship remains in tact and they each return to their lives in the States. Vicky’s husband none the wiser about her adventures in Spain, Cristina still searching for what she wants, and Vicky continuing to be the “responsible” person.
To me the strongest character in the movie is Cristina. She fearless lives her life, not willing to settle for anything less. Vicky on the surface appears to be the stronger person, she is getting her education, is practical-minded, married, not easily swayed by anyone. In the end though, I believe she stayed with her husband because she was too afraid to go after what she really wanted, you can see at the end that she realizes she isn’t really in love with him. It was the safe, easy choice to make, but ultimately not what she wanted.
Everyday I strive to live my life without fear. To make choices that add life, excitement, spice and joy to this journey I’m on. People succumb to fears everyday; fear of the unknown, fear of not being accepted, fear of losing something or someone, fear of failing, fear of not being good enough, fear of peers not agreeing with your choices. The list goes on forever and I’m sure you have many more to add.
I personally, at the end of my life, want to look back and have a colossal belly laugh at my mistakes, not cry at my regrets. Live your life without fear; commit to your choices with fierceness, waste not your life with “what was not done.” Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen?
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
......Your Way Out
I’ve been a neglectful blogger for the last few weeks. You know when you get wrapped up in the lethargic atmosphere of apathy? That’s where I’ve been vacationing for the last few of weeks. Mushing out on online games, mindless tv and movies; overall doing a whole lot of nothing. I have emails that need to be answered, projects to be worked on, plans that need organizing, a long list of to-dos all shoved under the bed so to speak.
It’s something that creeps up on you and eats away your time without you realizing it. You can get so deep into it that it’s hard to see your way out. So how do you get out of it? Sometimes all it takes is a tiny little spark that catches your attention and starts nourishing your motivation back to life. Mine came in the form of an online article that talked about free classes online. You won’t earn a degree, but if you want to enhance your current skills, learn new ones, or feed a new interest you can do it at no charge. Some of the sites the article listed were MIT Open Coursewear, Livemocha.com, and Free-Ed.net.
I checked out Livemocha last night, it’s an online language site where you can take courses to learn a language; there are twelve languages to choose from. There is actual coursework you do, flashcards, and assignments. You can interact with other members who are learning the same language or are native speakers. You can earn “Mocha Points” to unlock more content by reviewing submissions from members for grammar, spelling and context. If you want to pay a few dollars, you can even get feedback from instructors. I’m working on the French and Arabic courses. So far everyone has been really friendly, and I’ve already received suggestions of other sites to check out for language.
Then, a co-worker who is helping me polish up a logo I designed for a friend called to meet about it. It’s amazing how just a few minutes spent discussion design, flow, and impact can get the juices flowing. After we finished going over the logo, we started talking about photography, cameras, the hardship of finding people to pose for you, film vs. digital, etc. and an hour later I had yet another perspective to chew on in the photography world. Tonight I did a mini photo shoot of self-portraits in B&W (did I mention lack of posing victims?)
I’m usually pretty good about jump starting myself when I’ve reached that slug mode, but there are times you need the energy from others to replenish. Never forget the value of the people in your lives, how even the smallest element can create a change in your day.
Today’s found moment is: As important as your “inside” strength and self sufficiency are, the “outside” elements are equally influential and effective.......use them!
It’s something that creeps up on you and eats away your time without you realizing it. You can get so deep into it that it’s hard to see your way out. So how do you get out of it? Sometimes all it takes is a tiny little spark that catches your attention and starts nourishing your motivation back to life. Mine came in the form of an online article that talked about free classes online. You won’t earn a degree, but if you want to enhance your current skills, learn new ones, or feed a new interest you can do it at no charge. Some of the sites the article listed were MIT Open Coursewear, Livemocha.com, and Free-Ed.net.
I checked out Livemocha last night, it’s an online language site where you can take courses to learn a language; there are twelve languages to choose from. There is actual coursework you do, flashcards, and assignments. You can interact with other members who are learning the same language or are native speakers. You can earn “Mocha Points” to unlock more content by reviewing submissions from members for grammar, spelling and context. If you want to pay a few dollars, you can even get feedback from instructors. I’m working on the French and Arabic courses. So far everyone has been really friendly, and I’ve already received suggestions of other sites to check out for language.
Then, a co-worker who is helping me polish up a logo I designed for a friend called to meet about it. It’s amazing how just a few minutes spent discussion design, flow, and impact can get the juices flowing. After we finished going over the logo, we started talking about photography, cameras, the hardship of finding people to pose for you, film vs. digital, etc. and an hour later I had yet another perspective to chew on in the photography world. Tonight I did a mini photo shoot of self-portraits in B&W (did I mention lack of posing victims?)
I’m usually pretty good about jump starting myself when I’ve reached that slug mode, but there are times you need the energy from others to replenish. Never forget the value of the people in your lives, how even the smallest element can create a change in your day.
Today’s found moment is: As important as your “inside” strength and self sufficiency are, the “outside” elements are equally influential and effective.......use them!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
.....Excitement
You know what makes the world so exciting? The fact that every day you have an opportunity to do anything you desire.
Now I don’t mean that if you wake up one morning and decide you want to be a runway model you will be working the catwalk by sundown. Clearly unrealistic. What you can do though is move your life in that direction.
I have a friend that for the first time in their life they have no idea which direction to head. To them, it was such an unsettling place to be, they felt so lost. To me it’s the most exciting place to be. You have the chance to go anywhere, do anything, and try everything.
Don’t like the job you have? Look for another one. Don’t like where you live? Move. Don’t like the relationship you’re in? Get out. The reality is you and only you have the ability to change anything and everything about your life. The problem comes in with our built in need for instant gratification and wanting everything to come easy. That is NOT reality.
True change, worthwhile change, takes time and work, but that shouldn’t take away from the excitement of it. Really sit and think about it for a minute, the amazingness of the ability to change direction at any moment. Life is too precious and too short to continuing a direction because it’s familiar and comfortable. I’m not saying you should keep your life in perpetual motion and never settle down, absolutely not, nor am I saying that if something gets too difficult you give up and walk away. If you are truly unhappy with your current circumstance, not just momentarily annoyed, change direction.
I learned a life lesson from a car’s navigation system the other day. There was an address programmed into the navigation system and every time I drove somewhere the system came up with a route to that address. When I would miss a turn it would pause for a few seconds and come up with a new route; always finding a way to the original destination, no matter how many detours along the way. It became a game between me and the navigation system to see if I could stump it. I never did, it always found a way back to the original destination. I realized that this is a lesson for us with our lives. We all have a destination, an end goal, whatever that may be and some days you may not even know yourself what that destination is. The game, the exciting part, the thing that makes life so incredibly amazing is the detours along the way.
For a lot of people change is a scary thing, and yes there something frightening about the unknown. Don’t let that fear prevent you from the excitement of the life you deserve. Try everything, experience all possibilities, fall flat on your face when required, make a fool of yourself on a daily basis, and savor the deliciousness of every morsel of your life.
Now I don’t mean that if you wake up one morning and decide you want to be a runway model you will be working the catwalk by sundown. Clearly unrealistic. What you can do though is move your life in that direction.
I have a friend that for the first time in their life they have no idea which direction to head. To them, it was such an unsettling place to be, they felt so lost. To me it’s the most exciting place to be. You have the chance to go anywhere, do anything, and try everything.
Don’t like the job you have? Look for another one. Don’t like where you live? Move. Don’t like the relationship you’re in? Get out. The reality is you and only you have the ability to change anything and everything about your life. The problem comes in with our built in need for instant gratification and wanting everything to come easy. That is NOT reality.
True change, worthwhile change, takes time and work, but that shouldn’t take away from the excitement of it. Really sit and think about it for a minute, the amazingness of the ability to change direction at any moment. Life is too precious and too short to continuing a direction because it’s familiar and comfortable. I’m not saying you should keep your life in perpetual motion and never settle down, absolutely not, nor am I saying that if something gets too difficult you give up and walk away. If you are truly unhappy with your current circumstance, not just momentarily annoyed, change direction.
I learned a life lesson from a car’s navigation system the other day. There was an address programmed into the navigation system and every time I drove somewhere the system came up with a route to that address. When I would miss a turn it would pause for a few seconds and come up with a new route; always finding a way to the original destination, no matter how many detours along the way. It became a game between me and the navigation system to see if I could stump it. I never did, it always found a way back to the original destination. I realized that this is a lesson for us with our lives. We all have a destination, an end goal, whatever that may be and some days you may not even know yourself what that destination is. The game, the exciting part, the thing that makes life so incredibly amazing is the detours along the way.
For a lot of people change is a scary thing, and yes there something frightening about the unknown. Don’t let that fear prevent you from the excitement of the life you deserve. Try everything, experience all possibilities, fall flat on your face when required, make a fool of yourself on a daily basis, and savor the deliciousness of every morsel of your life.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
......The Life You Want
So yeah, this blogging thing is a lot harder than one would think. I can’t believe a week has past since my last posting. Although it’s been an interesting week for me, trust me, there was nothing that would interest any of you.
It has been a week of crisis phone calls from friends, life challenges for me, and insight into how people choose to look at life. Everyone handles drama differently, some get on the phone to everyone they know, looking for affirmation in their choices and generally looking for the world to stop for them, then the so called crisis (which turned out to be a misunderstanding) is over and they go about their lives while everyone else is still reeling from the hurricane of emotions thrown at them.
Then there are those that when hit with life not meeting their expectations, move into the City of Gloom and set up camp. No matter what positive thing you say to them it’s sent back on a negative wave of misery. How can anything possibly be good when their life is so bad?
Now I don’t profess to have all the answers, not even close, and I don’t think I’ve perfected how to deal with the down side of life, but I’m always surprised at how many people choose to focus on the bad things going on around them instead of the good. I’m not saying that you should deal with every negative situation with a perpetual Little Merry Sunshine mentality, or live in denial of your situation. Jobs have to be found, bills have to be paid, cars have to be repaired, difficult choices must be made, sad events do happen. Mentally you have to experience the sadness, grief, or moment of depression. Feel it to its fullest, but then let it go, staying in that place won’t change what is happening. The defining moment comes when you make that choice to either stay in that place or go back to living life.
Everyone you talk to these days is stressed about money. Business owners worried about bills and payroll or maybe closing the company, employees wondering if they are going to be laid off or have their pay cut, and of course the poor unfortunate ones who have been laid off. While I have been lucky enough to not be laid off, there have been some unsettling changes go on at work that has me once again re-evaluating my choices. For most of the week I have been hanging out in my head (what was it our moms taught us – if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all) and mentally processing everything. I didn’t get a whole lot accomplished. After a few days of being thoroughly angry with everything, I stopped focusing on what was out of my control and went back to thing I can affect. There are still hard choices I have to make, but I can’t make them today, or even this week. I will be mulling over them on and off so that when the time comes that the decision has to be made, I will be ready. In the meantime, I’m playing my favorite game, how many things can I do without spending money.
There is a great website called http://www.meetup.com/, it’s not an online social network like MySpace or Facebook. You put in your zip code or city, then something that interests you lets say books, and you can find a book club in your area. Most of the group events are free, and there is no pressure to go to every event. If you are available great, if not you can always go to the next one. You will be surprised the wide variety of groups you will find in your area, who knows you might discover a new interest for the bargain price of nothing. Another place I love to hang out at is the public library. Did you know you can rent DVDs? It’s no just for books anymore. When I was last living in Portland, I was there for 6 months and couldn’t find a job. I also didn’t have my car for about a month, but instead of staying home everyday being depressed about no money, no job and no car, I would ride the bus to downtown everyday, drop off resumes and then go to the library. I would check my email on their free internet, check out knitting books (have to do something with the roomful of yarn just sitting there in my apartment) and grab some DVDs to watch. It was really what kept me sane during that time.
Here's a controversial notion -- You have the exact life you want.
You may not be doing the job you want, dating the person you want, or living where you want, but all those things aren’t what defines you life. Your life is defined by the choices you make and your commitment to those choices. You can choose to sit home and be depressed because you don’t have the job you want, or you can meet friends for a $2 slice of pizza and an evening of belly laughs. You can stay home every weekend depressed because you are single or your friends are too busy for you, or you can join the local volleyball meetup.com group and broaden your social options (and burn off the burger and fries from yesterday in the process)
Everyday we are faced with stumbling blocks and people wanting to see us fall and maybe help us accomplish that. Life is too precious and too short to give into all that. I challenge you to make that CHOICE to focus on what’s good in your life, what you can affect that day and to turn away from the debilitating effect of negativity.
I challenge you to want a life of joy and laughter and to not want a life of doom and despair.
It has been a week of crisis phone calls from friends, life challenges for me, and insight into how people choose to look at life. Everyone handles drama differently, some get on the phone to everyone they know, looking for affirmation in their choices and generally looking for the world to stop for them, then the so called crisis (which turned out to be a misunderstanding) is over and they go about their lives while everyone else is still reeling from the hurricane of emotions thrown at them.
Then there are those that when hit with life not meeting their expectations, move into the City of Gloom and set up camp. No matter what positive thing you say to them it’s sent back on a negative wave of misery. How can anything possibly be good when their life is so bad?
Now I don’t profess to have all the answers, not even close, and I don’t think I’ve perfected how to deal with the down side of life, but I’m always surprised at how many people choose to focus on the bad things going on around them instead of the good. I’m not saying that you should deal with every negative situation with a perpetual Little Merry Sunshine mentality, or live in denial of your situation. Jobs have to be found, bills have to be paid, cars have to be repaired, difficult choices must be made, sad events do happen. Mentally you have to experience the sadness, grief, or moment of depression. Feel it to its fullest, but then let it go, staying in that place won’t change what is happening. The defining moment comes when you make that choice to either stay in that place or go back to living life.
Everyone you talk to these days is stressed about money. Business owners worried about bills and payroll or maybe closing the company, employees wondering if they are going to be laid off or have their pay cut, and of course the poor unfortunate ones who have been laid off. While I have been lucky enough to not be laid off, there have been some unsettling changes go on at work that has me once again re-evaluating my choices. For most of the week I have been hanging out in my head (what was it our moms taught us – if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all) and mentally processing everything. I didn’t get a whole lot accomplished. After a few days of being thoroughly angry with everything, I stopped focusing on what was out of my control and went back to thing I can affect. There are still hard choices I have to make, but I can’t make them today, or even this week. I will be mulling over them on and off so that when the time comes that the decision has to be made, I will be ready. In the meantime, I’m playing my favorite game, how many things can I do without spending money.
There is a great website called http://www.meetup.com/, it’s not an online social network like MySpace or Facebook. You put in your zip code or city, then something that interests you lets say books, and you can find a book club in your area. Most of the group events are free, and there is no pressure to go to every event. If you are available great, if not you can always go to the next one. You will be surprised the wide variety of groups you will find in your area, who knows you might discover a new interest for the bargain price of nothing. Another place I love to hang out at is the public library. Did you know you can rent DVDs? It’s no just for books anymore. When I was last living in Portland, I was there for 6 months and couldn’t find a job. I also didn’t have my car for about a month, but instead of staying home everyday being depressed about no money, no job and no car, I would ride the bus to downtown everyday, drop off resumes and then go to the library. I would check my email on their free internet, check out knitting books (have to do something with the roomful of yarn just sitting there in my apartment) and grab some DVDs to watch. It was really what kept me sane during that time.
Here's a controversial notion -- You have the exact life you want.
You may not be doing the job you want, dating the person you want, or living where you want, but all those things aren’t what defines you life. Your life is defined by the choices you make and your commitment to those choices. You can choose to sit home and be depressed because you don’t have the job you want, or you can meet friends for a $2 slice of pizza and an evening of belly laughs. You can stay home every weekend depressed because you are single or your friends are too busy for you, or you can join the local volleyball meetup.com group and broaden your social options (and burn off the burger and fries from yesterday in the process)
Everyday we are faced with stumbling blocks and people wanting to see us fall and maybe help us accomplish that. Life is too precious and too short to give into all that. I challenge you to make that CHOICE to focus on what’s good in your life, what you can affect that day and to turn away from the debilitating effect of negativity.
I challenge you to want a life of joy and laughter and to not want a life of doom and despair.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
......Avoidance
I have found myself, the last few days, without a whole lot to say. They haven’t been bad days or outstandingly good days, just kind of uninteresting. I’ve been cleaning out files, books shelves, old shoes, clothes closet. Cleaning the floors, throwing away out-dated spices, unidentifiable bags of bulk something (corn starch I think but not sure) and non-matching silverware. So really, what in all that would interest any of you?
Even though all of those things needed to be done, how much of the drive to accomplish it was avoidance? I have 4 knitting projects to finish, 3 outfits to cut out and sew, 1 canvas to paint for the bedroom, gazillions of photos to scan in and crop for my website. I should be filling my sketchbook for at least 20 minutes everyday, a French film from Netflix to watch (teaching myself French)……well I could go on but I think you get the idea. Being creatively paralyzed the last few days, instead of making myself push through the wall, I avoided the block by focusing on mundane more “important” tasks.
Now of course I was not going to accomplish that list all in the last three days, but how much more satisfying would it have been creatively to tackle at least one item each day? There are many websites out there geared toward artists, photographers, and all types of creatives, but I think the same words apply to everyone regardless of their goals or talents. There are days a business owner has to be just as creative in finding a solution as a screenwriter stumped on the third act. Their mediums maybe different but the blocks have the same paralyzing effect.
Everyone needs those days where you do a whole lot of nothing, to recharge the batteries so to speak, but how do you keep those days from taking over your life. How much of your life have you missed out on because you HAD to vacuum and dust the house instead of going to the park with your kids, or a movie with your partner? What connection did you miss out on because you skipped dinner with friends to stay home and “get caught up?’ There has to be a balance in your life between the everyday mundane chores that keep your life in order and the chaotic, spontaneous jolts that keep your brain creatively charged.
So my question for everyone today, what are you avoiding?
Even though all of those things needed to be done, how much of the drive to accomplish it was avoidance? I have 4 knitting projects to finish, 3 outfits to cut out and sew, 1 canvas to paint for the bedroom, gazillions of photos to scan in and crop for my website. I should be filling my sketchbook for at least 20 minutes everyday, a French film from Netflix to watch (teaching myself French)……well I could go on but I think you get the idea. Being creatively paralyzed the last few days, instead of making myself push through the wall, I avoided the block by focusing on mundane more “important” tasks.
Now of course I was not going to accomplish that list all in the last three days, but how much more satisfying would it have been creatively to tackle at least one item each day? There are many websites out there geared toward artists, photographers, and all types of creatives, but I think the same words apply to everyone regardless of their goals or talents. There are days a business owner has to be just as creative in finding a solution as a screenwriter stumped on the third act. Their mediums maybe different but the blocks have the same paralyzing effect.
Everyone needs those days where you do a whole lot of nothing, to recharge the batteries so to speak, but how do you keep those days from taking over your life. How much of your life have you missed out on because you HAD to vacuum and dust the house instead of going to the park with your kids, or a movie with your partner? What connection did you miss out on because you skipped dinner with friends to stay home and “get caught up?’ There has to be a balance in your life between the everyday mundane chores that keep your life in order and the chaotic, spontaneous jolts that keep your brain creatively charged.
So my question for everyone today, what are you avoiding?
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
......Breakfast for Dinner
Done with work.......
Bills are paid............
Finished library book.......
Pancakes for dinner....
Yup it was a good day!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
......Winnie The Pooh Wisdom
“You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count.”
Winnie the Pooh -- The House at Pooh Corner
My “found moment” came today as I was leaving work. Today was completely unremarkable, nothing exciting or scandalous happened at the office, no accolades or reprimands, simply a regular Tuesday. I guess that in of itself is remarkable, considering the current state of the world. Everyday we hear in the news, read on-line or in the paper about thousands of employees being laid off, retail giants closing their doors, and all of us know someone who has lost their job, car and some even their house. The company I work for announced last week that there would be a company wide decrease in pay as we weather out the storm. Not ideal, but considering the alternatives, workable.
Today I left at my usual time, 2:30, it was a beautiful 80 degrees outside and as I’m walking to my car I’m thinking how blessed I am. Not only am I still employed, but my job allows me to put more emphasis on my life instead of killing myself working 10 or 12 hours days. I have no problem working long hours and all that goes along with that, but I am definitely one of those people that my quality of life is more important than racking up the most hours at my company.
It’s so easy to be wrapped up in all that’s wrong in your life, projects not finished, dreams not started, and time running out. Everyday we are bombarded with negative news, destructive image ideals, and the ultimate demise of our economic world. Your sanity in all this turmoil is in the foundation of your own personal world. The emotional version of “comfort food” so to speak. For me it’s found in a job with short hours and the freedom of working independently. It’s found in dinner with friends, designing a new outfit to sew, borrowing obsessive amounts of books from the public library, no car payment, photography, drawing, my morning 6 Shot Grande Latte……..and Toosdays.
Winnie the Pooh -- The House at Pooh Corner
My “found moment” came today as I was leaving work. Today was completely unremarkable, nothing exciting or scandalous happened at the office, no accolades or reprimands, simply a regular Tuesday. I guess that in of itself is remarkable, considering the current state of the world. Everyday we hear in the news, read on-line or in the paper about thousands of employees being laid off, retail giants closing their doors, and all of us know someone who has lost their job, car and some even their house. The company I work for announced last week that there would be a company wide decrease in pay as we weather out the storm. Not ideal, but considering the alternatives, workable.
Today I left at my usual time, 2:30, it was a beautiful 80 degrees outside and as I’m walking to my car I’m thinking how blessed I am. Not only am I still employed, but my job allows me to put more emphasis on my life instead of killing myself working 10 or 12 hours days. I have no problem working long hours and all that goes along with that, but I am definitely one of those people that my quality of life is more important than racking up the most hours at my company.
It’s so easy to be wrapped up in all that’s wrong in your life, projects not finished, dreams not started, and time running out. Everyday we are bombarded with negative news, destructive image ideals, and the ultimate demise of our economic world. Your sanity in all this turmoil is in the foundation of your own personal world. The emotional version of “comfort food” so to speak. For me it’s found in a job with short hours and the freedom of working independently. It’s found in dinner with friends, designing a new outfit to sew, borrowing obsessive amounts of books from the public library, no car payment, photography, drawing, my morning 6 Shot Grande Latte……..and Toosdays.
Monday, February 2, 2009
......Found Moments
Life really is all about the “found moments”. I’m pretty sure that is from a movie I saw and when I remember it, I will post which one. They are right though; there is a chance every day to find something, either something within you or outside of you. Something so small you almost miss it, or so big it knocks the wind out of you.
My best friend is a dreamer in the literal sense of the word, which works out well since she is THE most literal person I’ve ever met. I am her counter-balance. She tells me that I have this habit of picking reality up from the floor (where she has usually left it) and throwing it in her face……….I found her to be right. Does that mean that I have no dreams and she has no realistic ideas of life? Far from it, but it does tell you what our first reactions to life are. When you are so busy staying grounded in reality, you lose your creativity. You lose the ability to see what could be, only what is.
My found moment today, is that I have stopped looking for them, those “found moments” and as a result, they have left me. I did not appreciate their importance in my life, and they took the meal of neglect I fed them and moved on. Today is about enticing them back, for they are the things that gets you through that crappy day at work when you want to walk out, they help you sustain that glorious high you are on when you have had a truly amazing breakthrough with your art, they fill in the gaps to reveal what you have been looking for all along.
So take notice you elusive moments, I’m coming for you and you will be found.
My best friend is a dreamer in the literal sense of the word, which works out well since she is THE most literal person I’ve ever met. I am her counter-balance. She tells me that I have this habit of picking reality up from the floor (where she has usually left it) and throwing it in her face……….I found her to be right. Does that mean that I have no dreams and she has no realistic ideas of life? Far from it, but it does tell you what our first reactions to life are. When you are so busy staying grounded in reality, you lose your creativity. You lose the ability to see what could be, only what is.
My found moment today, is that I have stopped looking for them, those “found moments” and as a result, they have left me. I did not appreciate their importance in my life, and they took the meal of neglect I fed them and moved on. Today is about enticing them back, for they are the things that gets you through that crappy day at work when you want to walk out, they help you sustain that glorious high you are on when you have had a truly amazing breakthrough with your art, they fill in the gaps to reveal what you have been looking for all along.
So take notice you elusive moments, I’m coming for you and you will be found.
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