I had someone tell me once "You teach people how to treat you." I never had someone say this to me this before, so I asked some of my friends if they agreed, they most definitely did. They said that I am very clear what kind of behavior is allowed and what isn't. Not in a mean, bossy kind of way, but in a clear cut matter-of-fact manner.
The more I thought about it the more I realized that we all teach people how to treat us, some of us are just better at it than others.
I hear a lot of chatter these days on Twitter, Facebook, at the office and among friends about putting up with certain behavior because "you can't change people and you can't expect them to change." I agree with that completely, but that doesn't mean that you have to put up with the unwanted behavior. What you can have effect over is how they behave around you.
Find your voice, speak up and say what you want, what is ok and what isn't, no one else can do this for you. I found mine quite a while ago when I realized that spending all my time fixing my friends problems and lives was keeping my life at a stand still. No one was concerned about my needs. If you don't want to deal with your friends constant drama, tell them to take it else where. If you don't like the way you significant other is speaking to you, let them know its not appropriate and tell them what is. If they won't listen to you, do they really bring the kind of value to your life that you want?
The people that are in my life are there because of what they bring to the relationship, a different perspective, finding belly laughs in silly mundane things, keeping me on my toes, whatever is their "specialty" my life is better for having them in it. Those who brought no value, who drained my energy and spread negativity are no longer around.
Find your voice and say want you want, teach people to respect you and the boundaries you have put in place or keep your mouth shut and allow them to trample through your world and demolish your presence......either way you are the teacher and they are the student.
