......The Life You Want

So yeah, this blogging thing is a lot harder than one would think. I can’t believe a week has past since my last posting. Although it’s been an interesting week for me, trust me, there was nothing that would interest any of you.

It has been a week of crisis phone calls from friends, life challenges for me, and insight into how people choose to look at life. Everyone handles drama differently, some get on the phone to everyone they know, looking for affirmation in their choices and generally looking for the world to stop for them, then the so called crisis (which turned out to be a misunderstanding) is over and they go about their lives while everyone else is still reeling from the hurricane of emotions thrown at them.

Then there are those that when hit with life not meeting their expectations, move into the City of Gloom and set up camp. No matter what positive thing you say to them it’s sent back on a negative wave of misery. How can anything possibly be good when their life is so bad?

Now I don’t profess to have all the answers, not even close, and I don’t think I’ve perfected how to deal with the down side of life, but I’m always surprised at how many people choose to focus on the bad things going on around them instead of the good. I’m not saying that you should deal with every negative situation with a perpetual Little Merry Sunshine mentality, or live in denial of your situation. Jobs have to be found, bills have to be paid, cars have to be repaired, difficult choices must be made, sad events do happen. Mentally you have to experience the sadness, grief, or moment of depression. Feel it to its fullest, but then let it go, staying in that place won’t change what is happening. The defining moment comes when you make that choice to either stay in that place or go back to living life.

Everyone you talk to these days is stressed about money. Business owners worried about bills and payroll or maybe closing the company, employees wondering if they are going to be laid off or have their pay cut, and of course the poor unfortunate ones who have been laid off. While I have been lucky enough to not be laid off, there have been some unsettling changes go on at work that has me once again re-evaluating my choices. For most of the week I have been hanging out in my head (what was it our moms taught us – if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all) and mentally processing everything. I didn’t get a whole lot accomplished. After a few days of being thoroughly angry with everything, I stopped focusing on what was out of my control and went back to thing I can affect. There are still hard choices I have to make, but I can’t make them today, or even this week. I will be mulling over them on and off so that when the time comes that the decision has to be made, I will be ready. In the meantime, I’m playing my favorite game, how many things can I do without spending money.

There is a great website called http://www.meetup.com/, it’s not an online social network like MySpace or Facebook. You put in your zip code or city, then something that interests you lets say books, and you can find a book club in your area. Most of the group events are free, and there is no pressure to go to every event. If you are available great, if not you can always go to the next one. You will be surprised the wide variety of groups you will find in your area, who knows you might discover a new interest for the bargain price of nothing. Another place I love to hang out at is the public library. Did you know you can rent DVDs? It’s no just for books anymore. When I was last living in Portland, I was there for 6 months and couldn’t find a job. I also didn’t have my car for about a month, but instead of staying home everyday being depressed about no money, no job and no car, I would ride the bus to downtown everyday, drop off resumes and then go to the library. I would check my email on their free internet, check out knitting books (have to do something with the roomful of yarn just sitting there in my apartment) and grab some DVDs to watch. It was really what kept me sane during that time.

Here's a controversial notion -- You have the exact life you want.

You may not be doing the job you want, dating the person you want, or living where you want, but all those things aren’t what defines you life. Your life is defined by the choices you make and your commitment to those choices. You can choose to sit home and be depressed because you don’t have the job you want, or you can meet friends for a $2 slice of pizza and an evening of belly laughs. You can stay home every weekend depressed because you are single or your friends are too busy for you, or you can join the local volleyball meetup.com group and broaden your social options (and burn off the burger and fries from yesterday in the process)

Everyday we are faced with stumbling blocks and people wanting to see us fall and maybe help us accomplish that. Life is too precious and too short to give into all that. I challenge you to make that CHOICE to focus on what’s good in your life, what you can affect that day and to turn away from the debilitating effect of negativity.

I challenge you to want a life of joy and laughter and to not want a life of doom and despair.